Six days without my plastic prison stick, the fact I’ve made it this far is nothing short of a miracle.

The nicotine patches are irritating my sensitive ass skin. I find myself slapping my arm where the patch is in an effort to relief said itch.

My sense of smell is getting better, but I work in a god damn seafood restaurant so many of those scents I wish I couldn’t smell😬 My health is still a disaster, at least I’m coughing less which is by default giving my poor insides some relief from my constant hacking.

Gratitude List backstory

In 2014 I was told I was the “most ungrateful person ever”. It was probably true. That year for Thanksgiving I was told to do one of those daily gratitude lists. At the time I was strung out while on superior court probation, squatting in the apartment my landlord had just died in, and hating absolutely everything/everyone.

I started those lists and continued them. In 2016 I was homeless and sleeping at a bus stop on Mass Ave I would post 3-5 things a day I was grateful for. Some of those lists were painful to read years later but others it was exactly what I needed to see to remember where I had came from. My lists morphed from a free shower to becoming less of a shitbag and more self aware.

When I got off fentanyl in 2017 the lists became a staple for me. Because I have an awful habit of minimizing my own shit it became almost like a brand, something I was known for. Turns out according to my latest therapist I was allowed to be miserable and grateful at the same time but I did NOT get that memo and have manufactured happiness via those damn lists for a decade now😂

I want to stop using Facebook for my lists. I want to expand the sharing of them in hopes that it can help even ONE person.

Have you done any of those gratitude challenges on social media over the years?