I don’t feel grateful in the slightest

I’m traumatized from that SuTab prep (dear lord whoever made those pills is a MONSTER). I thought the drink preps were bad, I was sadly mistaken and my ass is in so much pain it’s not even funny😭

I’m grateful I did get 3 hours of sleep and didn’t 💩 my bed though so I guess that’s a win? I’m horrified by this entire experience and need to stop seeking answers for things I’m too poor to even fix😬🫣

If I did have colon cancer I’m not going to be able to afford treatment so I’m pretty sure I just put myself through all that pain and discomfort for a narcotic filled nap and some camera filled violations.

I’m grateful I can eat at least at some point today, this past 24 hours without eating real food absolutely sucked (I had finally started to get my appetite back, go figure)

I’m grateful for my struggles. Sounds weird to say but when I listen to the rich people at my work whine about their ridiculous problems it makes me grateful as fuck that I’ve had bad stuff happen to give me character and a fucking personality😂

I think my chronic poverty, consistent state of suicidal rage, and drug addiction made me a funnier person- I’d have the personality of a paperclip if I wasn’t riddled with PTSD.

I’m really hoping I don’t have some freak reaction and end up dying on that OR table today, a bit dark of a take for a simple day surgery but my life has been a series of shitty things that shouldn’t have happened happening so I set the bar real freaking low (pretty much don’t kill me is all I ask of my medical team at this point, sad to say but my faith in that one is dwindling)

What are you grateful for today?🤔