Thank everything holy today is my Friday and the last day of my work week. That clo-pen double and these extra shifts are kicking my ass- I don’t have a choice but to take them unfortunately, I’ve even gotten to the point where I’m begging my coworkers to fork over some of their shifts.

I’m trying to be grateful, I really am. I’m not sure if the reality of my husband losing his job that supported us all has fully set in yet or if I’m still in denial a bit. I’m trying to compartmentalize and focus on what I can control and do in the moment. Freaking out and screwing up my own job in the process isn’t going to help anyone. We have been through this so many times I should be used to it, but because we have the kids and a soul crushing car loan this time around I feel like the pressures stronger.

Despite the chaos the Amitriptyline fog has finally started to clear, I can wake up again without having a hangover which is a plus. That detox was a bitch but I’m glad it’s over with. I will admit I miss being at a point in my life where I could sleep in every day and the hangover feeling from medications wasn’t problematic. The medication works amazing and I’ll always be grateful for my time on it, but with my kids school schedules it’s just not the best option for me in the moment.

I’m grateful my kids haven’t realized what’s going on. When I got fired in November of 2024 for some bullshit (I refused to do something illegal and my psycho boss at the time kicked me out of the restaurant mid dinner rush) my children picked on me hardcore for being fired and constantly brought it up. This time they aren’t acknowledging it at all, haven’t asked a single question. My son spends his time asking me 294738372 questions but his father’s employment situation he hasn’t said a peep. I guess I should be grateful they are oblivious but I’m noting that one for the record.