Oddly enough I’m excited to go back to work this week. Being sick the last four days has really taken a lot out of me and I need something to focus on, and something that provides income is never a bad thing. We survived Halloween last night, but I will say it was a WEIRD one.

We live in the hood, there’s no one giving out candy in the general area so I’ve always driven us to the residential neighborhoods that actually participate. Our first year out there had barely any kids but a ton of houses participating and loading my kids up in the process. The following year we went down to a friend’s house so we were not local. Last year the streets were lined with kids and it felt like a normal Halloween, last night not so much. We were out from 6:45-8pm and didn’t see a single kid trick or treating. The houses we went to were all saying they had 10 kids or less coming by and even less people participated. For a neighborhood with 10 houses, maybe 4 were giving out candy. Regardless my kids still ended up with an insane amount of candy, there’s no way on earth they can consume the 15 pounds they have acquired over the last month so I’ll be bringing some to work to pawn it off on my coworkers.

Some of these houses even coughed up the full size so I was beyond thrilled. My coworkers are going to end up in diabetic comas by the end of the year but this candy WILL get consumed. Another successful holiday without the ex husband though, it’s getting easier and easier. Heck the kids didn’t even mention him at all yesterday.

I’m still trying to mourn the loss of the person he was before getting sick. I cycle between the sheer rage of what he turned into then back into a crippling depression of realizing an amazing person got so unbelievably sick they ruined 5 lives in the process. I want to get to a point of having empathy and not hatred- maybe one day.

My therapist is taking a month off work somehow, so I’m left to raw dog this one- which at least I’m used to at this point. I have to toe a line with her, she’s still getting used to my sense of humor. She has given me full permission to make drug jokes though, she’s aware I’m not at any risk of a relapse so the floors mine there. My sliver lining she was begging me for the best I could come up with was that I was too poor to have a drug addiction on top of all my other problems.

My suicidal humor isn’t as kosher with her yet and I’ve had to explain a few times that 1. It’s embarrassing to survive a suicide attempt, I’m sick of that look they give you and 2. I’m way too stubborn to allow suicide or an overdose be my cause of death. Far too many people have been banking on that one and my sheer spite will not allow it. I’m going to end up kicking the bucket from cancer, Alzheimer’s, or a car accident on Route 2- it won’t be self inflicted.

My fall engagement content bundle is live! For $5 you get 10 posts, graphics AND captions- absolutely no AI used! Yes I’m shamelessly plugging my business and income options, times are terrifying and I am too ugly to sell my ass. Buy a shirt here https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1ZiDGuxC7z/?mibextid=wwXIfr