September is over and it’s another month I’ve survived being a single mom and trying to navigate the disaster in which my ex husband created when he ran out our back door six months ago. I wish had had something profound to say besides things are really freaking shitty. I feel like I’m constantly just in survival mode and my nervous systems consistently on overdrive. I don’t trust anyone anymore, let alone myself. I wish I could say this last six months I’ve been healing, but instead it feels like I’m a hostage and having my head held under water while desperately trying to get back up for air. My kids are handling it like champs, they seem to have adjusted to life without him just fine. I’m grateful they have made that adjustment, I wish that this could be as easy for me as it is for them.

One of my favorite bands is breaking up and doing a farewell tour- I’m sooooo grateful my coworker got us tickets for this one!👏🏻 I am glad that even though concerts was a hobby my ex and I shared together I’ve been able to continue to go to shows and not have them be soured by his absence. I will say that the amount of shows I’ve been able to get to this year is one that brings me great joy.

I’m grateful for my job. As much as I bitch and complain about it I’m very blessed to have that gig. Lately I’ve been able to pick up more shifts which is a huge help with the ridiculous amount of bills and expenses I have at the moment. Most recently I found out the Mass DMV is trying to smoke me for $150 in penalty fees for being late on a $37 unpaid toll bill. That $150 definitely isn’t going to happen so this week I have to call them in hysterics and try and get that dropped down to just the original $37 bill. Some may say that’s manipulative, but I’m desperate and no longer give a shit.

I’m grateful I’ve been figuring out this couponing and discount shopping stuff. At first it’s pretty overwhelming but there’s a ton of people who break down the deals in a manner that’s pretty easy to understand once you look for it. There’s still a lot I need to learn about it but I’m at least making progress and not paying full price for anything in the process.