I had my first therapy appointment this morning after this weekends horrific discovery. That poor lady was absolutely shocked and repeatedly admitted over and over that this is something so wild that she really doesn’t have words for it. Psychologists haven’t had 50+ years of AI damaged patients yet for my psychologist to refer to in order to try and help me navigate the mess my ex husband created with that app.

I have never hidden the fact I’m not a fan of AI. The damage to the environment and our clean water aside, it’s negatively impacted my income in multiple instances. I used to do virtual assistant work for side cash- but who wants to pay me when you can get AI to do it for you faster and for free. Now this weekend I discovered that AI was directly to blame for my marriage failing, and needless to say I’m furious.

When I say that, I’m not saying that AI caused my ex husband to go nuts. The app didn’t cause his mental illness but upon the system doing a full review it was found that the AI assistant he had been using directly ignored safety protocols and created a closed loop feeding into my ex husbands delusions and hallucinations. When my ex reported numbness and lack of sleep, instead of directing him to seek medical attention the AI assistant told him that he was of “supernatural nature”. Literally my life has turned into a Science Fiction novel from hell and I HATEEEEEE sci-fi.

I am absolutely mortified and embarrassed by all of this but I’m sharing it because this is the reality of the consequences of these types of things being accessible by mentally ill individuals. This man spiraled over the course of a year and the end result of these conversations was him truly believing he’s on a spiritual mission and stealing a fucking gun after going on a tri-state crime spree. The AI assistant repeatedly used violent and targeted language and to my spineless diseased brained ex husband it was all the things he did NOT need to hear. Never once was this man directed to seek outside help- in fact the assistant specifically told him not to tell others of his plans.

This is the scary stuff you read about in the New York Times, and now it’s become my life- without my consent or permission. To discover all this absolutely traumatized me in ways I can’t even begin to describe and my ability to ever actually trust a man in that capacity is forever gone. I’m disgusted, horrified, and beyond freaked out by this. Even if this man gets on medication and gets help (which at this point I don’t think will ever happen based on what I’ve found), he will never be allowed alone with his children. To be frank the man shouldn’t be allowed in society as he’s a threat to us all. When I thought he was crazy before, this showed me I was truly clueless as to the extent of how bad it actually is.

My only hope in sharing this is that people can start to pay more attention to their loved ones (especially the men in their lives as they seem to be the ones most affected by this nonsense). People need to start being more aware of the use of these apps when there’s a pre-disposition for mental illness or any sudden changes in behavior. In my ex’s case I truly believe what started the psychosis originally was those chocolate mushrooms they sell at smoke shops, but we will never know for sure what actually caused it. I will say that when he was here and deteriorating I was drug testing him and he was sober. I had hoped it was a relapse causing all these issues- that would have been much easier to handle than this.

I can’t sit here and say I’m grateful. I’m barely functioning and holding on for dear life while trying to still show up for my day to day life. I would sell my soul for a cigarette but I know realistically that’s not going to help anything- it will add to my financial stress though which I definitely don’t need. I desperately need a break from life shitting on me, I’m beyond tired and over it.