My ability to give a fuck about much is pretty non existent. I’m welcoming this phase as caring about things is for the birds.

It’s been an absolute riot watching the fall out from the midterms though, that’s at least brought about some prime content to entertain myself on the doom scroll. I have another three days off to try and fill with things besides men that raise my blood pressure- what a task.

I’ve been slacking on all those art supplies I bought this summer, I should probably pick that one up as it’s less likely to make me want to scream. The fish is still alive, everyday when I feed him I make a joke that he’s the only man that can’t run out my back door. Realistically he’s probably going to kill himself to get away from me, can’t blame the little dude.

My therapist taking a month off was not ideal, but at least I have my morbid sense of humor and enough spite to keep me alive and functioning. I will say it’s super weird to have my appetite back all of a sudden now that I picked up cigarettes again. My mother claims it’s because I finally feel better, she’s probably right. Go figure I went out and bought a bunch of clothing that actually fit, it’s a constant struggle when I yo-yo between sizing all the time. Just when I think it’s safe for me to donate a bunch of clothing I either end up losing or gaining a ton of weight.

I won’t pretend I’m okay, I’m not. I’m gliding through these last seven months and trying not to completely lose my mind. I absolutely hate my ex husband for ruining 5 lives because he’s too much of a bitch to go to therapy and the whackjob truly thinks he’s on a spiritual mission and is of a higher entity than the rest of us. It’s some sci fi crackhead shit and I truly don’t have the empathy yet for that one there. Eventually I’ll feel bad for him but for now I just wish him nothing but an uncomfortable prison sentence. I hope his ass stinks and his cellie is a rat, among many other horrible things I wish on that sorry excuse of a man. One day I’ll feel bad for him, for now he’s on the shit list.